Sunday, September 11, 2005

A day to remember

On this day, four years ago, I learned about two things that would change my life. The first, as with everyone else in the world, was learning about the attacks on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. I still remember the drop in my stomach as I learned about the attacks, and then the horror I felt watching the towers collapse. Knowing the devastation I felt, all the way across the country, I couldn't even begin to imagine what those who lived there must have felt. It is still, to me, the worst thing our country has ever faced.

But the other news I learned was the complete opposite of the terrorist attacks. It was on this day, four years ago, that I learned that I was pregnant with Boogie. We had been sent home from work, and I was glued to the T.V., watching the footage in New York and Washington, D.C. I got a call from my doctor's office announcing the results of my pregnancy test. "You're going to have a baby!" the nurse said. "You're six weeks pregnant."

I was shocked. While I kind of knew it in the back of my head (otherwise, why would I get a test?), it was still a weird thing to take in. Here I was, sobbing hysterically about the horrific things that were happening across the country, but then I receive this wonderful news. I wasn't quite sure how to react, so I just broke into tears again.

So my news when I called my family in Tennessee, upstate NY, and Florida was that I was fine (I was supposed to have flown on Sept. 12 for business), and that I had even better news: that I was going to have a baby. We went out to dinner that night with my husband's family. As we were toasting to the new life inside of me, I couldn't help but wonder whether others questioned why we were so happy. Did they think were were celebrating the devastation of the day?

When I went to bed that night, I had all of these mixed emotions in my head. I was bringing a new life into the world, but what kind of world would that be? Did I want to raise a child in a place where so much evil existed? But then I saw the outpouring of human kindness, the unity and patriotism, and the strength to carry on that came out of this disaster. And I realized that there was no better time or place to have a child.

Boogie is now nearly 3 1/2 years old. She amazes me every day. She'll always be the bright spot when I remember the events of this day.